Friday, June 1, 2012

Crazy Lady Bagged Up (Short Story)

Crazy Lady Bagged Up and Thrown into Kidnapper’s Rusty Basement like Trash
All I could hear in that cold empty room was my own hysterical laughing.  I’ve been trapped here for … so long that I can’t even remember.  Ever since the driver asked me if I needed a ride, and then bagged me up and threw me into rusty basement like trash, I have been cut off from society.
Other than the granola bars and juice boxes that are stuffed under the metal door, all I have is my own imagination.  You might call me crazy talking to myself, and laughing at my own jokes, but I prefer to think of myself like the guy from Castaway, except instead of trapped on a deserted island, I am locked inside of my kidnapper’s basement.
I can see the man in the van that kidnapped me even now.  He was old and the remainder of his grey hair was balding away – his head was quite shiny.  I would not have taken his ride, but I was running late for my best friend Wanda’s 21rst birthday party and we were all going barhopping.  As I got into the strange man’s car, I started primping myself with the reflection off of his bald head because there were no mirrors in his car.  Soon, I realized that the entire interior of his van was stripped of metal so that I could not open the door.  I began to panic.
I grabbed for my pepper spray and pointed it in between his eyes.  Unfortunately, it was pointed back at me and I maced myself in the face.  My eyes felt like they were going to burn off of my face.  I was completely blinded.  I screamed, but the creepy old man just chuckled sinisteringly.  I may have been blinded, but in my head I could still see that nasty bald head laughing at me.
I reached for my phone and called speed dial 1, my bestie.  Unfortunately, the elderly man caught on and duck taped my mouth shut.  I screamed, “Help me, Wanda! I just got kidnapped by an old guy in a van!”, but it just came out as a murmur.  I could only faintly hear her yell “Are you drunk already!?” before she hung up on me.
By the time he finally locked me up in his basement, I had almost recovered from painfully blinding myself accidently in both eyes enough to be able to see again.  Now, I have been down here so long I am not sure how many weeks or even months it has been.  He is probably planning to fatten me up and bake me into a pie!  For all I know, the last time my friends and family will see me is on the nine o’ clock news.  I can already picture the headlines: “Naive Hitchhiker is baked into Human Meat Pie by City’s Cannibal.”
As I was crouched next to the thick steel door separated me from freedom, I heard faint footsteps that were so light I would not have heard them, except for the fact that I have been locked in a basement with only my dead silence for the past weeks.  The sound of a crinkling granola bar wrapper came closer and closer to my door.  With the sight of the slightest tip of his pointer finger, I grabbed and just kept on pulling.  I pried every one of his little piggies out from under that door until he screamed begging me to stop – but I knew who still had the key.

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